考完PA1。。。+ 跌倒。。衰～～～

刚考完PA1。。没什么感觉。。就很PA！！！ 有些问题有乱到～～～精神不是很好，三更半夜突然起来，之后就不太会睡。。结果刚才有时会走神。。。可是还能控制啦～～～
考完书，拿了bank book,打算去Bank看看多少钱。。哪里知道，人多到！！！！check 钱时，尽然政府还没进钱给我～～～不用紧。。。我太急了。。。出去时。。到了一个蛮高的地方（不会很高），我爸说“跳下去”。。我看着这个高度，应该没问题。。。就想下怎样跳。。哪里知道，我算错，或跳错。。结果跌倒了。。。脚擦伤，流血一点，蛮痛的。。裙只也沾满了泥土。。。丢脸死。。。真是的，跳水沟都不会，好才水沟不大。。。应该看下ah boon 怎样跳先嘛！！！真是的。。。。
衰。。钱没进到，还跌到。。。
累～～～睡觉去。。。明天bio 1....

安静了。。S.H.E.

这个MV～～～～有我喜欢的小天哦～～～～超爱这首歌～～～～～WOOhOOOOO

学会放下

累与不累，主要取决于自己的心态。

快乐与不快乐，就看你是否学会了放下。

放下，是一种生活的智慧。

放下，是一门心灵的学问。

放下压力，活得轻松；

放下烦恼，活得幸福；

放下自卑，活得自信；

放下懒惰，活得充实；

放下消极，活得成功；

放下抱怨，活得舒坦；

放下犹豫，活得潇洒；放下狭隘，活得自在……
人生在世，有些事情是不必在乎的，有些东西是必须清空的。该放下时就放下，你才能够腾出手来，抓住真正属于你的快乐和幸福!

Pa1...我就是讨厌你！！！！崩溃～～～

在我的读书生涯里，我就是讨厌历史！讨厌背历史！SPM就是因为你我的历史拿B3！！！！
现在来个PA1。。以前不管我怎样读，就是不能记到完！！！！
我现在没什么心情!我很累！！！！！
现在的我失去战斗力！考试前那股战斗力呢！！！跑哪里去了？？？？！！！！！那个死都不放弃的今精神叻！！！！！

昨晚因为心情不好，和朋友sms时说了很多废话。。。对不起啦朋友，我知道你不爱我说废话，可是那时我就是疯了！！！！对不起啦～～～～对不起！！！！（最近还是少和朋友SMS，免得伤及无辜。。。）

今天会是难熬的一天。。逼自己学PA1。。。天气热到不像话。。真是的！！我心情那样低落，就不会下雨的哈？？？？？
幻想突然我的朋友们会不会寄信息来鼓励我。。。拜托，现在朋友们都忙着学书，鬼理你哦！！！事实上在家人面前我闭口不说考试，因为不要他们担心。。。。你女儿无能啦，当不了医生。。。自己奋斗，自己承担！！！
blogger 就像我朋友那样。。什么东西都跟它讲。。我没人好讲了。。家人不能说，朋友不能说

我要去读PA1了。。。。没有到星期三，3点45分。。陈薇鑫！！你都不可以放弃！！（心情不好到和弟吵架，对不起啦，你老姐疯了，不要惹她）

Math n form 6

今天考好math之后。。。我可以很肯定地说。。。这就是STPM.。。因为还是有很难的问题，虽然考试前，都有学书，问题出来，有些还是不会做。。。因为数学又不是死的。。。真的有难到。。。这就是所谓的STPM考试。。。很多人说世界上难考排第三的。。。我真的学书了，可是有些就是不会做！！！！说我笨吗？？？我也不知道。。。。就是很要用脑的问题。。。

考试温习前。。。学到diffentia equation......很多种问题，我就在祈祷，考试千万不要出那种有关联到volume的什么有个cylinder,加水，水漏出来多快等等。。。因为那个是我最不会的，以前spm就不会了。。。很多问题可以出事实上，可以出像前几次mr chin 考的那种，都不会说很难。。。偏偏今天的paper竟然跟我出那个volume de,还不用紧。尽然什么里面有什么salt...brine solution...然后倒水进去，然后又流出来。。。。叫我form equation....ngaidi,我都不懂它要什么，难道那个salt一起流出来？？？还是融化在里面。。。我知道我想太多。。。老师讲过prove不出不要紧。。就integrate...哪里知道，equation看起来很复杂。。。真是的。。。我就是不会做！！！！

感觉有点失落。。。真的。。。想当年。。。刚进中六，立志说要当医生。。。最后，努力，失败，在努力。。。最后STPM,比我想象中有难度。。。。

当年，我不被matric录取。。。被录取的朋友叫rayu,以我成绩应该能。。。可是，那是家人都不太鼓励我去matrix...所以就不理。。。现在，看来我当医生是不可能的了。。。也许我并不是很努力很努力的那种。。。也许压力把我打倒。。。让我失去信心。。。对自己要求太高。。。

也许我能说如果一个人很想当医生。。。又没有钱读private...那么matrix是最好的。。。当然以standard来讲，还有学的东西，中六是很多。。。可是matrix较容易拿4 flat...人家说上大学会较辛苦而已。。可是门都进到了。。还怕什么。。。像form 6...都学了。。问题出来还是有不会做的。。。不然学那么多，出来的就是那一part....我能说在中六要拿4flat....不容易。。。要很勤劳。。。像我班的考才生一样。。。睡觉时间少。。。娱乐比较少。。。就一直读书读书。。。说真的我办不到。。。。真的压力太大了。。。不然就聪明过人。。记忆力超好。。。但我肯定不是那种。。。我知道说这些没用。。。可是也许给那些忧郁是否要读中六的人的建议。。。

但中六还是有很多好处。。。学到很多东西。。。老师够经验。。。又有好补习。。。而且过着学校生活。。。还有庆辛得到这班朋友。。。

说真的，说了没用。。。有点失落。。。我不知道我失落什么。。。失落当不了医生？？？失落我考试时忘记学过的东西？？？？我不知道。。。我已尽力了。。。

还是要加油。。。还有paper1....

带我走-杨丞琳

Rainie yang- dai wo zou (CD version) - 楊丞琳yang cheng lin rainie

带我走－杨丞琳每次我总　一个人走交叉路口　自己生活 这次你却说带我走 某个角落　就你和我 像土壤抓紧花的迷惑 像天空缠绵雨的汹涌 在你的身后　计算的步伐 每个背影　每个场景 都有　发过的梦

带我走　到遥远的以后 带走我　一个人自转的寂寞 带我走　就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫 我不怕　带我走

每次我总　独自远走 抱着沉默　不邹眉头 这次你却　说一起走 彼此温柔　从此以后 像土壤抓紧花的迷惑 像天空缠绵雨的汹涌 在你的身后　计算的步伐每个背影　每个场景都有　发过的梦

带我走　到遥远的以后 带走我　一个人自转的寂寞 带我走　就算我的爱　你的自由都将成为泡沫 我不怕　带我走　

白马溜过　漆黑尽头 潮汐袭来　浪花颤动 凝在海岸　结成了墨 蔷薇朝向　草原气球 邮差传来　一地彩虹 刻在心中　拍打箸脉搏 带我走　到遥远的以后 带走我　一个人自转的寂寞 带我走　就算我的爱　你的自由都将成为泡沫 我不怕　带我走 带我走　就算我的爱　你的自由都将成为泡沫 带我走

math~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math
Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math Math

Math 2..this thursday...i love math 2 than math 1 becoz math2 oways higher marks than math 1 n math 2 got geometri deduction n probability..(this two can kill u if the qtions reli hard)....i hope dat day i can have "super eye"..so that i can detect wat the qtion wan on geometri deduction~~~pls la...math pls dun be so kongbu...我受不了打击liao~~~~~我只是普通学生一个～～～放过我啦～～～～

这pucca 蛮可爱的～～～～

有够烦的。。。

自从考完生物后，

我的心情没有好过，

一天比一天糟。。

也许得了考后忧郁症，

因为偶尔会担心考过的科目，加点自责为何不能把生物做的最好。。。。

考前忧郁症也有，感觉上math2,很容易有难的问题。。担心。。。

总之就是心情不好。。。痛苦。。。折磨。。。

人家说，考后就不要想了，

问题是，讲很容易，可是我不能控制，除非我有超能力，把不开心的事给忘掉。。。

Ah Beng，wan peanut boh????pls read..funny

Ah Beng is a bus driver; one day got this old folks home "bao"(包) his bus for a day trip to Pulau Ketam.
Sitting right behind the driver's seat is Grandma Sue and from his rear mirror Ah Beng can see that Grandma Sue is happily munching away.
In the middle of the road trip, Grandma Sue tapped Ah Beng on his shoulder and asked him...Grandma: "Ah Beng ah! You want peanuts boh? Grandma treat you eat peanut ai mai?"Ah Beng: "Tenkiu ah ma... yes I want!"
Then Ah Beng also happy happy munching peanuts... about 20 minutes down the road, Grandma Sue asked Ah Beng again...Grandma: "Ah Beng ah! You want peanuts boh? Grandma treat you eatpeanut ai mai?"Ah Beng: "Tenkiu ah ma ... yes I want!"
To make the story short, this goes on for a few more times then AhBeng finally asks Grandma Sue...Ah Beng: "Ah ma ah ... you dont eat peanuts one meh?"Grandma: "No... no eat! Ah ma boh teeth la!"
Ah Beng: "Aiks! Boh teeth then why ah ma buy peanuts leh?"Grandma: "No choice leh! Just now that 7-11 is out of chocolate so ahma kena buy this peanut chocolate lor! Ah ma lick the chocolate around the peanut and the peanut give you eat lor!"

现在的我-没有感觉

没有感觉。。也许这次的STPM太过刺激。。chem的问题一直在我脑海里浮现。。觉得失望，学的都没有到半点。。却出一些意想不到的事情。。
今天报纸报导STPM PA2 的考题出错。。。标题：“把学生给害惨”一字。。相信别人肯定想。。这些倒霉的考生～～～对，我就是其中一个！不知是幸运还是倒霉，我的粗心毛病让我抄错号码。。。而那个号码就是错。。而我的粗心之下画出来的graf没什么问题。。所以没有怀疑。。为什么我不选carta pai bertingkat ler...我选的题目就是个陷阱。。而且我画得蛮辛苦。。pa2....bahagian E 更是惨。。。carta aliran 我只写过一次。。

算了。。。一切都已过了。。。我已尽力了。。。可是我偶尔还是会想起。。。毕竟这是我的前途。。。我能不能不去想。。。也许需要时间。。。我现在没感觉。。。

没感觉的我。。现在正努力的学math2...和paper1....

i have try my best,no regret...

jz finished those terrifying paper 2..not much to say..i cant say easy or hard..jz if i can do,then easy,i kenot do,then if i kenot do...oso cannot say is easy or hard...
study,i have try my best to study,still remember i try my best to memorise the organic,physical n inorganic,read n read n read...read so many..but finally come out so many inorganic...nitrogen n silikon..the silikon can kill me...n careless...i cant get 7 marks for dat quite easy kc calculation...but then organic qtions quite headache..hope my answers are correct...
biologi...still can do..but not very confident becoz the topic not the topic dat 我厉害和在行。。。if come out krebs cycle,ETC,calvin cycle,immune system,variation,muscular contraction n so mant dat bout human...but then..wat come out??mass flow,symplast,apoplast...i got read..but not much to write ler!!plant kok...pq qtion still ok...then non steroid hormone...15 marks?got so many meh..anyway...i duno how end it coz i 4got...cascade effect very confusing...math...bit bad luck...come out the one i reli tak faham de topic...calculate faedah or interest using number n series...actually i not good in dat...even i have read dat this mng..but i reli dun understand....be4 this,trial exam or doin papers or exam...no encountered dat type of qtions...so bit ignore it edi...haiz..wat can do...i admit dat...this time paper 1 i reli try my best edi...very serious when doin it until when 5 oclock...teh serious ever...but dat qtion 12!!!!!haiz...now wat i need to do is try my best in paper 2...coz frm my previous record..paper 2 better tnan paper 1...

say dun wan to say liao...还讲那么多。。。。没办法。。。我现在睡又睡不着。。。就心情有点低落。。。因为。。。4flat可能就这样没有了。。。我本来就知道我没有那个本事。。。可是。。还是会失望。。。

没关系。。我已尽了力。。

后面还有paper1....要加油。。

最后。。。

这应该是我考stpm前最后一个文章。。。

我什么都不想说。。。

只想对自己，家人，朋友，老师说。。。

我会尽力的。。。

我现在没有什么奢求。。只想。。。

祈祷能以最佳状态去考试，不要再粗心。。。学以至用。。。

阿弥陀佛

恐怖星期二，下礼拜真的很重要！！！！！

恐怖星期二，18号，十一月，2008年。。。。

考stpm的第一天。。。。

竟然！！！！！

pa2在早上，chem2在下午。。。。

我也搞不懂为什么会那样。。。就是那样。。。

我本人觉得蛮恐怖的。。。因为第一天考试一定会特别紧张。。竟然情绪还没定，就要考chem第二张。。两张重要的考卷。。如果pa2考不是很好。。肯定会情绪受干扰。。还是别想那么多。。

基本上下礼拜都是恐怖的。。因为都是考第二张。。

下礼拜真的很重要！！！决定我人生的时刻。。。如果万一假设那张考不好，我也许会严重受到打击。。

所以我一定要镇定！！！！！！！

will i go mad be4 i sit for stpm???

i almost mad!!!!!the stress jz accumulate everyday...worrying!!!!i reli scare...if i cant get good result...wat will hapen!if i cant get good course,wat will hapen!!!if i cnt get good job,wat will hapen..i knw i cnt think so much..but jz need to study hard n study hard!but....i reli tired..hafal all doesnt mean remember all...remember all doesnt mean can apply on the qtion...so many things need to remember...
i knw i need to be calm...but do have times i cnt control my mind...n some topics like reproduction of plant reli hard to remember....reli feel wan to cry when wan to input something but it dun wan to get in!!!
compared to spm,stpm不能比！！！！spm much more easier evendo still have it difficulties...i gonna crazy!!physical chem,organic chem,inorganic chem,math 1,math 2....ar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!becoz so many topics we need to study,so do have some topics we can remember well...but oso have topics jz difficult to remember!becoz too much topics!lucky mean the topics u remember come out in exam!anyway,as a student,shud try my best to remember all the topics...n try to be calm to avoid careless....
i m gonna mad,mad n mad

thanks for the wishes

exam jz around the corner...so some frens send wishes to me...thru msgs..emails..thanks for all the wishes especially doreen n grace lim,my ping pong best geng...tey had wish me good luck quite many times...n oso my classmates dat always wish me jia you n gud luck...especially wan ying will said :"jia you"everytime we left...feel warm wif those wishes...
today surprisingly i received a msg frm miss li...my favourite teacher n my 恩师 frm smk batu kawa...she wished me good luck in coming stpm...n 加油。。。reli touch recif msg frm this teacher....haha...
anyway jz thanks for everything...evendo is nothing..but jz thanks..thanks to suk thin let me followed her car to library today oso...
i will study hard coz i wan to success n many ppl wan to see me success as well especially my parents...i will try my best so dat i wnt regret...

luckily i sit for mid year muet

today i sit for year end muet...quite tough compared to mid year de..haiya...no hope to get band 5 liao la..my last record jz dat 4marks left to band 5 de band 4 liao...wat can do...the reading part..teh qtion not dat dif.jz confusing...n then i read till sienz...evendo i quite like some passage like "women that like to drink" n "depression"....haha..i like this type of passage myb i m depress nw n i like to overthinking..haha...n i guess there which type of "overthinking" that i have...wakaka...writing...haiya..one word materialistic wan me write long esei..wan can do..jz bla bla at there lo...listening...not easy oso...need to think...except the one wif "night market"de...

haiz..suan le la...i thought i can get band 5 kok...nw may got band low 4...anyway,i didnt study well my english coz more emphasis on bio.chem,math....haiz...wat can do..it do nt included in cgpa..

Last day in this school

last day in this school..it does not include the day when we go to school to sit for exam...jz tha last day in the class wif my fellow frens n teachers....quite sad coz today is the last day we sit in class...listen to teacher's lecture n talk wif frens..still remember last year,i was a bit unwilling to come studying in form six...becoz my heart broken coz teh matriks dun wan accept me...n many ppl sokong me to choose form six...but i jz knw its all alasan n this is the hell for my next half an a month...nw...i m going to end form six...n i can say dat i m not regret to enter form six n bit wan to thanks matriks fro dun wan accept me...studying form six jz fun...4got bout the stpm stress...it is fun becoz its so much challenging n its standard is so high..n ppl dat heard dat form six's students jz dat geng...study a lot of things..n no need study sejarah,moral n all dat....n next thing is U6S1...study in this class so much different than form five class becoz jz 19 students in our class...n all r chinese...we have the same dream...n we work for dat dream...teachers all r the best n experience...i will never 4got all the students in this class...time wif them i treasure a lot...jz hope dat after stpm..we can still stay contact...
yesterday mng was something like Pecut STPM or wat...i not reli listen to it...n jz busy hafal my organic chemistry...until i quite blur when teh students clap hand or stand up....n finally we sing a song named "kau boleh" or wat i duno...actually i dun like dat song..duno how...jz dun like the 曲..but the next door guys change it to "puan paw n puan yeoh boleh"..so funny until i laugh till the end...n i reli shout "puan yeoh boleh"!!!!after dat i went to canteen wif my frens to have the last day eating at canteen..haha...i still eat my mee jawa..favourite food...after dat class cleaning time...n then surprisingly pa teacher came into our class to gv us moral support...ya.choose the correct qtions very important... lastly is the time puan wong talk to our class...bout work hard n pray hard...i knw dat getting good result not 100 percent depend on how much we have study...we sill need bit luck...n our prestasi on teh day we sit for exam so dat we can fully 发挥所长。。。
when the time puan lee n puan wong wish us all the best..actually i edi fil like wan to drop tears...it's quite usual when come to the last day i will cry...i m bit sentimental..even my fren wan to leave us i oso cry...but till the end she still in my class fighting wif us...crying jz a way dat i cnt control...but reli...我不舍得这一切。。。但人生当中就是那样。。。

all teh best to me n all my frens...today i recif a souvenier frm lembaga pengawas..jz a photo frame..i m goin to get the foto of our class "全家福”dat we took when the farewell day for bamboosis...n put the photo inside..sweet memory....

butterfly in the bathroom~~~~~

this morning,quite soi...force myself to wake up when my mum wake me up....go to toilet brush my teeth wif my eye half close....suddenly i feel bit uncomfortable...毛骨耸然。。。鸡皮疙瘩。。so i turn back atomatically....OMGGGGG!!!!!i saw a black butterfly flying across me....i didnt wear glasses so i jz c 一陀黑色东西。。。hng,butterfly,别以为我没带眼镜就看不到你！！！！i was shocked...quickly wash my mouth n go downstairs told my mum there is butterfly in the bath room..my mum unwillingly get the broom n go in the toilet...i hide myself in the bedroom,scare it will attack me...i heard teh sound "bang bang bang"...then my mum come out n told me "ok liao"..at here..i wan to apologise to butterfly lover,ancestor...i dun mean to kill this animal...or hate it...coz i reli scare it~~~~~i duno my mum kill it or not...but if my father will jz use a plastik bag to catch it n release it.....luckily...it did not came when i m naked taking bath...if not~~~~~cant imagine wat will hapen.....
today i was goin to school..surprisingly jz 6 students in the class...chem teacher was shocked coz usually this jz will hapen on friday...why i went to school???jz coz of math actually,coz some questions in pahang n malacca paper i dun understand...so end up wif i wake up early in the mng go to school...but today quite ok,not regret for goin to school coz pa teach us some keyword for bahagian d n e...i learnt dat if perubahan + antara need draw graf bar memesong...n math i learnt bout limit to infinity when there is modulus sign n others...chemistry oso learnt bout some marking format...actually i went to school oso caused by i jz left few days in my class...thursday is the last day...friday...haiz..the only year i didnt recif any prize in majlis penyampaian hadiah..last year oso of course....accident happen to my chemistry,so cnt get sp...but still go becoz of recif one piece of "pengawas" sijil...dun understand why muz force students go there jz coz of a sijil...can jz gv at another time...wasting my time...rather studying at home to get gud result later...i dun allow any accident or careless in my stpm later...after sit for many exam...i knw i prone to happen accident on my subjects...evendo i reli knw how to do...damm!!!!if accident happen again in stpm...i will regret or the whole life!!!wendy ar wendy....pls be careful!!!!!!
anyway i guess everyone of us will do better in stpm later becoz we have read more n try many qtions n papers....we r trained!!!!as long as the stpm qtion dun be dat weird n out of syllabus...or tricky....
haha...last friday for those dat went to school can go for dinner...today,we recif souvenier of Australia frm puan Sng 。。i choose a kangaroo...but it look like rabbit...similar wif my"honey" rabbit doll at home...it is my honey...becoz i hug it everytime i sleep,watch tv,online,studying sometimes....it accompany me since primary one....i not dare to show her here becoz it is quite "black"...so when i c dat kangaroo...i fall in love,n hang it on my pencil box....ming huang them oso choose koala bear...but then we relate “无尾熊” wif my fren's future children's name。。。ehem....jz joke but reli funny~~~~
2moro go school again..coz have bio...hope more students can come....quite weird wif jz 6 students in a class...